Your sense of who you are is not only determined by you, but it’s dictated whether consciously or unconsciously by what you heard and saw in childhood, what society tells you about yourself and how others treat you. Have you ever sat and thought about what you thought about yourself outside of what others have told you are? If you have, what you’ve is explored your self worth. Self worth is another word for self esteem. It’s how you feel about yourself. It’s if you think you are good enough or worthy enough of the things you desire. If you take a look around you, it may seem like everyone feels good about themselves, but the truth is there are many people walking around that don’t love themselves. They don’t recognize their own value. They don’t think they deserve goodness in their lives. They have low self worth. They are just really good at hiding it.
I was one of those people. For a long time I didn’t believe I was loveable as I was. I thought I had to go above and beyond to prove that I was good enough. My lack of self worth showed in my work and career, how much money I made, it showed in the partners I chose to have in my life, it showed in how I treated myself and it showed in what I believed I could be, do and have. Shadow work and self awareness helped me heal and overcome the low feelings I had about my self. I learned who I was and where many of the thoughts I had about myself came from. I began to see myself differently and love myself beyond what I thought was possible. I learned that people were mirroring back to me what I saw in myself. When I began to see and treat myself differently, so did everyone else.
The same can happen for you. When you heal the traumas that you’ve experienced in life and begin to see yourself as you were created to be, things change. The 8 ways Unhealed Shadows Can Affect Your Self Worth that I’ve listed below can be used as a guide to show you where you have areas of your life that need to heal.
Fear of Failure: If you have an unconscious fear of failure, you may find yourself sabotaging your own success. For example, you might procrastinate on important projects or make careless mistakes when you’re close to achieving a goal. This self-sabotage can stem from a deep-seated belief that you don’t deserve success or that you’re not capable of achieving it.
Perfectionism: Perfectionism can be a shadow pattern that masks underlying feelings of inadequacy. People who strive for perfection often set unrealistic standards for themselves, leading to constant frustration and disappointment. This can manifest in various ways, such as avoiding taking risks, overworking, or being overly critical of themselves and others.
Projection: Projection is the unconscious act of attributing one’s own negative qualities or thoughts onto others. For example, someone who is secretly envious of a friend may project their envy onto the friend by accusing them of being jealous. This can lead to strained relationships and misunderstandings.
Imposter Syndrome: Imposter syndrome is a common shadow where you doubt your abilities and achievements, having the background and experience for the area your working in. If you have imposter syndrome, you may feel like you’re constantly on the verge of being exposed as a fraud. This can limit your career aspirations and personal growth.
Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk is the internal dialogue that can be critical, judgmental, or pessimistic. This can be a shadow that reinforces self-limiting beliefs. For example, if you believe you’re not good enough you may constantly tell yourself negative things like “I can’t do this” or “I’m a failure.”
Emotional Walls: People with a fear of intimacy may unconsciously put up emotional walls to protect themselves from vulnerability and pain. These walls can make it difficult to form deep and meaningful connections with others, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Avoidance: To avoid being uncomfortable with intimacy, people may engage in behaviors such as substance abuse, workaholism, or excessive social activity. These distractions can prevent them from confronting their underlying fears and building healthy relationships.
Repressed Emotions: Unresolved anger can shows up as outbursts, irritability, or passive-aggressive behavior. Many people struggle to express their anger in a healthy way, which leads to resentment, bitterness, and strained relationships.
Abuse: Abuse of any kind is wrong and may seem like an obvious way of being treated that most people wouldn’t tolerate. But, sometimes experiences from the past, running from situations and seeking acceptance from anyone that can give it to them can lead a person to accept being abused whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, financial or spiritual abuse. None of it is acceptable. Being abused heavily weighs on your self worth, self love, self value and self respect. If you’re in an abusive situation first please seek help to get out of that situation . Then, after you are safe and stable and beginning to rebuild your life, start going within to heal the areas of you that need intense mending after the wounds have faded There is light after the darkness. I am proof of that.
If you resonate with any areas on this list it’s a good indicator that there’s an unhealed shadow or trauma waiting to be healed so that you can stop the patterns that are leading to unhappiness, unfulfillment and low self worth. Healing starts with acknowledging that there’s an area of your life that needs to heal.
Shadow Work is a personal journey but that doesn’t mean you can’t receive support along the way. If you’re ready to start your shadow work healing and would like assistance with getting started I offer a few services that can you learn the key areas to begin your shadow work journey. Learn more here.
Love,
Ashley
